I’ve yet to meet a parent who doesn’t occasionally lose it with their kids.
You’re stretched to your limit, stressed, pushed too far and snap.
It usually happens when something our kids do triggers something in our past, and we operate from a sense of fear instead of love.
You yell. You say things you don’t mean. You send your kid away from you.
And then you feel terrible.
The good news is our kids don’t need perfect parents. In fact, evidence shows it’s important for our children to observe their primary caregiver learning from our mistakes.
When we muck it up it’s an opportunity to demonstrate the ability to say “sorry, I got that wrong.... can we start again?”
What to do when you feel guilty about losing it with your child.
1. Calm yourself
Take a minute to breathe. This is a good opportunity for what I call a “parental time out”. It’s important we tell our kids that it is us and not them...
Many parents, including me, don’t want to put their kids in a situation where they might be hurt.
Yet the goal of getting your newborn to adulthood isn’t just for them to survive, it’s for them to thrive.
Part of this is helping your child handle risk confidently.
This is why you need to let your children fall.
This doesn’t come easily for me. I’ve had to work hard on it.
I’ll never forget a time when my brother’s kids were standing on a wall that looked terrifyingly high. My brother noticed I was worried and said:
“When I feel nervous I ask myself, could this kill them? If it can’t kill them I let them take the risk. If they hurt themselves they have also learnt a lesson and probably won’t do it again.”....
My brother was onto something because research from Dr Peter Gray, an evolutionary biologist, who has studied play deeply shows that when allowed to play freely without adult...
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