I was chatting to the most gorgeous new dad of a newborn baby girl this week. He was overjoyed to be a new father…learning to swaddle, supporting his partner, and absolutely smitten with his baby. There was one thing he was struggling the most with… constant worry about getting it wrong.

 He told me this:

‘the highs are so high, and there are really low lows, it’s a rollercoaster - but the hardest part of all is when she cries and we can’t help her or when feeding is hard and then this worry creeps in that maybe we are already stuffing everything up’.

Nothing could have prepared this dad for the underlying, nagging worry that maybe somehow despite trying his best he was already ‘getting it wrong.’ 

I reflected that in the last five years within the hospital environment I am seeing more and more parents who feel so worried, so heightened, so anxious about 'getting it wrong' before they've even begun. 

 And the thing is - he’s not alone.

This voice that we might be stuffing things ...

My son who is no longer a toddler started year 7 this year.

A big change with lots to adjust to. Around week three one Friday afternoon out of nowhere my happy go lucky, cruisy, resilient 12-year-old burst into tears over the smallest thing.

The likes of which I hadn’t seen since he was a toddler… and he wasn’t able to just pull it together despite the fact the timing wasn’t ideal.

I was a little surprised at first, and I remembered this same thing happening when my eldest started year 7. In times of change we can often see kids pushed to their emotional limits.

I knew what to do: to let him cry and let him know that adjusting to high school is huge, and feeling exhausted and emotional makes sense.  

 Later I shared with him that I bet lots of kids were feeling the same about now and that I too remember the struggle as I adjusted to year 7.

This is all true, I do remember how tiring year 7 was and I also know from experience of raising my four boys that feelings are much better...

For most parents with young kids, Christmas Day can be unpredictable. Sure, we love the idea of the presents, Santa, the time with family and friends, but the reality of the day can wind up with its challenges when our little kids miss the memo and wind up struggling with new food, new faces a lack of sleep and a load of sugar!

When we think about it, it makes sense: From an exciting morning opening presents from Santa, to gathering with family and friends, and potentially traveling to multiple places our kids, who really prefer the rhythm and routine of a standard day can wind up feeling overwhelmed and all it takes is their cousin to touch their new toy truck and its game over!

The key to a smoother Christmas with toddlers and kids may be as simple of lowering OUR expectations.

Read on for my top five tips for bringing more peace and joy to your home at Christmas.

1. Prepare as though you are EXPECTING them to struggle

 So often we forget that change and new environments can ...

As 2023 rapidly draws to a close there are many kids and parents starting to get exited and maybe a little nervous as they embark on their journey into formal education. AKA 'BIG school.'

The excitement builds as we farewell pre-school with end of year concerts and as we purchase new uniforms, huge backpacks, and new name label stickers for drink bottles and lunch boxes. We say 'bye' to daycare fees (hooray!) And hello to school readers and a whole new system of doing things. However, for many kids and parents the anticipation of big school can have us a bit nervous. 

The nerves make sense. For parents it’s a big step into our child being more independent, and it can be emotional seeing your baby, in their new uniform, hidden under the enormous school hat and huge backpack that you can’t ever imagine will fit them. We worry – will they fit in? What if they need help, will they be able to ask?

For our kids it’s a time of much excitement and some apprehension. They really don’t know w...

In my home growing up we all knew the dreaded sound of mum banging on all of our bedroom doors telling us it was “SATURDAY MORNING CLEANUP”. She would sing this song at the top of her voice about it being a ‘good morning’ and we’d all groan and moan.

BUT we all knew there was no getting out of the house to see friends until the chores were done.  My mum worked full time, there were no cleaners in those days and so we did the whole house as a group. My sister was responsible for bathrooms my brother would often have to vacuum the house and being the youngest I would unpack the lowest rack of the dishwasher and clean the skirting boards.

Research indicates that kids who regularly help around the home with chores may perform better academically and have better executive function, self-esteem and stronger problem-solving skills.

This research isn’t new, a Harvard Grant Study, which has been running since 1938 to present (the longest running longitudinal study in history) has identified ...

Last week I went away for a girl’s weekend. Much to my surprise and delight I came home to a SPOTLESS home. The washing was done, the lawns were mowed, even my car was washed! I looked at my hubby in disbelief and he said with a smile: “I found a new trick… I wrote each boy a list of 2/3 chores on a post it note and handed it to them. I told them chores before anything else and they just …..did it!”

He was pleased with his ‘dad hack’ - and I couldn’t believe it. Because it’s not always simple to get four different personalities doing chores as asked in our home.

At the same time: we both also know from our experience of raising four boys why this technique did in fact work so much better than the usual ask, then nag and then yell approach that let’s be honest, we all occasionally slip into.

I’ve seen a lot of buzz this week on social media about new research that indicates that children who regularly help around the home with chores may perform better academically, have better execu...

On some days it can feel like you are walking on eggshells.

Your child is struggling, you are struggling and feels like if you make one wrong move, like giving the wrong-coloured cup or peeling a cheese stick when your child wanted to "do it myself” - and BAM you’ve ruined your child’s day.

 Kids have big feelings, and in case you are worried it’s just your kid?

I promise you, it’s not.

Little kids and BIG kids all experience big feelings because their brains are still developing. Essentially when these big feelings build up and children lack key skills manage this in a way that looks resilient.

Put simply, their brains are still developing and the pre-frontal cortex that helps them be reasonable, rational and regulated is not fully developed until well into your child’s mid 20’s. (Yep, you heard right!)

Tantrums and meltdowns are normal and healthy. Tantrums and meltdowns are not a choice our children make, but a state of emotional dysregulation that is beyond the control ...

I was chatting to the most gorgeous new dad of a newborn baby girl this week. He was overjoyed to be a new father…learning to swaddle, supporting his partner, and absolutely smitten with his baby. There was one thing he was struggling the most with… constant worry about getting it wrong.

 He told me: ‘No doubt about it there are highs, and really low lows, it’s a rollercoaster - but the hardest part of all is the worry about mucking it up’.

Nothing could have prepared this dad for the underlying, nagging worry that maybe somehow despite trying his best he was already ‘stuffing it up.’ 

This dad, is not alone.

This voice that we might be stuffing things up is one that SO MANY parents can relate to.

Whichever way your decisions as a parent roll around sleep, food, or boundaries; despite doing your very best you will (probably many times a week or day) still find a way to wonder ‘am I doing it wrong?’

 This usually happens on the couch at night, or at 3am in your bed.

 For pa...

How we can learn about parenting from watching the NBA

When working with parents around the challenges they are experiencing with their children there is one place that no matter what the problem I will always recommend we start.....

Connection.

Our children are wired to seek out relationship with 1 – 2 primary caregivers (usually their parents), and it doesn’t matter whether the issue in daily life is fussy eating, bedtime battles, screen rage, meltdowns or sibling rivalry… we won’t get anywhere if we don’t start with meeting this need for connection.

This drive for physical connection is so powerful that from the second our newborns arrive earthside they are seeking out the faces and the connection of their primary caregivers more than any other face or shape. A sign of just how vital a sense of ‘belonging’ is for babies and children, right from their very first breath.

I came across the most incredible study this week that looked at what factors could predict success in the NBA...

On the weekend my family had breakfast with a giant white lion named Mishka.

No joke this lion weighed 300kgs and was sitting less than two meters from where we were seated to have breakfast. We were having an overnight zoo experience, my kids were delighted! Well, three of them were, and my youngest son was on the stairs refusing to come to breakfast. At least NOT while that lion was there.

My son had heard this lion roar on his way down the stairs, and there was no way we were going to convince him to come to breaky if Mishka was joining us.

• We tried telling him he was safe, the lion was safely behind glass. 
• We tried telling him that we his parents wouldn’t put him in danger, he could just trust us.
• We told him if he didn’t come, he’d miss coco pops and pancakes.

His resolve was firm. Hard no.

As a parent, these moments test us. Not just because we worry about our child’s resilience and their ability to be brave but also because often a child struggling with fear is impac...