I was chatting to the most gorgeous new dad of a newborn baby girl this week. He was overjoyed to be a new father…learning to swaddle, supporting his partner, and absolutely smitten with his baby. There was one thing he was struggling the most with… constant worry about getting it wrong.

 He told me: ‘No doubt about it there are highs, and really low lows, it’s a rollercoaster - but the hardest part of all is the worry about mucking it up’.

Nothing could have prepared this dad for the underlying, nagging worry that maybe somehow despite trying his best he was already ‘stuffing it up.’ 

This dad, is not alone.

This voice that we might be stuffing things up is one that SO MANY parents can relate to.

Whichever way your decisions as a parent roll around sleep, food, or boundaries; despite doing your very best you will (probably many times a week or day) still find a way to wonder ‘am I doing it wrong?’

 This...

How we can learn about parenting from watching the NBA

When working with parents around the challenges they are experiencing with their children there is one place that no matter what the problem I will always recommend we start.....

Connection.

Our children are wired to seek out relationship with 1 – 2 primary caregivers (usually their parents), and it doesn’t matter whether the issue in daily life is fussy eating, bedtime battles, screen rage, meltdowns or sibling rivalry… we won’t get anywhere if we don’t start with meeting this need for connection.

This drive for physical connection is so powerful that from the second our newborns arrive earthside they are seeking out the faces and the connection of their primary caregivers more than any other face or shape. A sign of just how vital a sense of ‘belonging’ is for babies and children, right from their very first breath.

I came across the most incredible study this week that looked at what...

On the weekend my family had breakfast with a giant white lion named Mishka.

No joke this lion weighed 300kgs and was sitting less than two meters from where we were seated to have breakfast. We were having an overnight zoo experience, my kids were delighted! Well, three of them were, and my youngest son was on the stairs refusing to come to breakfast. At least NOT while that lion was there.

My son had heard this lion roar on his way down the stairs, and there was no way we were going to convince him to come to breaky if Mishka was joining us.

• We tried telling him he was safe, the lion was safely behind glass. 
• We tried telling him that we his parents wouldn’t put him in danger, he could just trust us.
• We told him if he didn’t come, he’d miss coco pops and pancakes.

His resolve was firm. Hard no.

As a parent, these moments test us. Not just because we worry about our child’s resilience and their ability to be brave but also because often a child...

There is nothing as exciting as knowing you have a holiday coming up. Looking forward to making memories, enjoying quality time with the kids and getting to explore new places..... Holidays can be magical.

But the reality of traveling with children can also be an overwhelming proposition —long packing lists - making sure all the kids essentials are remembered, and cranky kids who struggle with changes to routine can have parents feeling like going on holidays with kids is actually a LOT of work.

Here are 5 golden rules to make travel with kids feel like a holiday:

1. Planning and preparation

It may sound obvious but it’s quite a different thing travelling with a baby or toddler to what it’s like with school age kids, and it’s different again for teens. Planning realistically according to what is going to be enjoyable within each age group really helps. 

 If you have very young kids make sure the accommodation you book is accessible for you....

Last week in our local community a man was shot and killed by police right near my boys primary school. By the time I picked them up from after school care they were a mix of worry and questions. I knew we needed to talk about what had happened, not a topic I had pre-picked for Thursday night dinner chat over Chargrill Charlies. I wasn't sure exactly what they needed to know, and was still processing the event myself. 

When events happen both in Australia, and globally it is understandable when parents feel confused about how to talk with our children about them. One instinct is to shield them from it. You know; allow kids to be kids!

This is understandable. After all, from the minute we were handed our first baby we were told when it cries it’s our job to work out what’s wrong and fix it. To stop the sad!

Here’s why I think we should resist that instinct.

Simply put, the world, the media, the internet, even the playground – are too...

One of the hardest parts about being a parent is that the parent we hope to be, want to be, and promise to be for our kids when we sit on the couch at night, often leaves us right when things get tough.

Parenting is not easy; in theory we all know the parent we want to be. But in reality, when one of your children hits a younger more helpless sibling we jump to despair because they keep doing it, and we fear we are getting it wrong. (Or worse there is something wrong with our child.) Or your child has their 17^th meltdown for the day over the way you cut their toast and it’s like some kind of poltergeist takeover happens and next thing you are yelling “GO TO YOUR ROOM.” It’s a bit of a cycle, because we wind up regretting it, and promising to do better but it seems to happen again and again.

It’s like whenever our kids are at their worst - our logic, creativity, and compassion leave the room and we seem to match them.

It’s not a...

It’s 5pm and you are racing the clock to do the dinner / bath / bed dash. Your child asks for something, it might be a biscuit or some TV it might be for you to play with them again. Or its 8pm and maybe they are in bed, they ask for the 10 millionth thing, you both know it’s unreasonable….You say no (for a multitude of reasons from health, to safety, or a need for sleep, or because it doesn’t work for you right now) …and your child starts to get upset.

 In your head you think, ‘not this again’…… You dread the meltdown that might build, you worry they won’t eat their dinner, or it will upset siblings, or it might disrupt the bedtime routine and you collapse.  

 “OK just ONE biscuit” or “Fine ill play for 5 minutes and no more” or “ok you can get up and have a bowl of cereal”

 I can tell this story because I have lived it, many, many times over, and I know I will...

It's instinctive to ask your child at the end of the school day: "How was school?"

You're probably keen to know how it's going, what they've been doing for the past six hours or more, what have they learnt?

But how often do you actually get an answer longer than one word?

Recently Gen Muir was chatting with Christine Layton on ABC Radio Perth all about how to get kids to really talk following a day at daycare or school. 

Read more here

 We all know the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. This is the old school approach to dealing with conflict or ‘friendship fires’ between kids which when you think about it, is pretty emotionally dismissive.

 Because here is the thing: words can, and do hurt.

 So why do we tell our kids to ‘just play with someone else’ or ‘dust it off’? Quite simply, we want to make it better. This can either look like telling our child to play with someone else (sticks and stones), or ringing the parent of the other child / charging into the school and demanding action.  

 None of these options are great for our kids because they don’t empower our kids, they don’t allow them to feel ‘heard’, and this means our kids are left feeling alone with their feelings and less confident about how to handle a similar situation in the future.

 We want to make sure our...

As Featured in Mamamia 

This week, mum-of-four, Genevieve shares her Five Golden Rules for parenting. 

I am a mum of four beautiful boys aged five, seven, 10 and 12. 

I drop more balls than I can count. At any given moment in my house there is a mountain of toast, lots of noise, and Nerf Bullets absolutely everywhere. But also, my life is full of sweet, caring, loving, fumbling, big-hearted boy love.

I haven’t always had golden rules when it comes to parenting. They have developed over time through trial and error. 

I started out as a pretty intense mum, focused on getting it all 'right'. When I just had one baby, I was positive he was perfect. He ate and slept when the books said he should and I was, in hindsight, a tiny bit smug about that. Then I had a second baby, and the cracks began to show.

My perfect firstborn baby became a toddler who was pushing, snatching, and on occasion - biting! My new baby had reflux and wouldn’t stop...